


You make me feel like i am home again

by SamiraScamander



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Comic-Con, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:56:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamiraScamander/pseuds/SamiraScamander
Summary: Matt is at a convention and gets asked a lot of questions and this one is one of them.What’s or where is home for you?





	You make me feel like i am home again

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at a Mattex fic and I hope I did them justice.

He was at yet another convention for doctor who even though he already moved on. It’s still nice to get asked back and to see how happy the fans are. This time he’s there with David and he really enjoys spending time with him. Right now, he’s attending a Q&A Panel with David.

“Hello Matt, hello David. So, my Question is this: Have you ever broken anything on set?”, a fan asked.

They all laughed and Matt needed a minute to stop laughing.

“Well, let’s say there isn't something I haven’t broken on set, I am a quite clumsy person.”, he said and grinned.

The crowd laughed again and he just let himself fall into the feeling of this happiness, this feeling of utter belonging. There is only one situation that made him feel the same and that’s when he’s talking to Alex.

Except that’s a lie.

He tried to forget the fact that he doesn’t even have to talk to her to feel like that, he only had to talk or think about her or watch her new project like he promised he would and he would have all these soft, warm feelings in his body, like butterflies flying not only in his stomach but his whole being.

He heard David finishing his answer and immediately felt bad for not listening to him despite knowing the answer already.

They answered more questions, from simple ones like what’s their favourite kind of tea, do they wish to come back to the show for an episode or which companion they liked the most besides their own.

The next person asked about their favourite person to shoot with which David takes a bit of time to answer.

"Well, I love Karen, Arthur and Jenna of course, but gotta be Kingston, really.”, Matt answered a bit too quickly.

It’s an answer he hadn’t even thought about, he was halfway out of his mouth when he noticed what he was even saying.

The crowd cheers and David smirks and talked about how unfair it was that he only got to shoot two episodes with her and Matt got almost her whole timeline and got to marry her too.

“I’m a lucky man indeed”, he just answered smiling.

After a few questions which always get asked he doesn’t even think about what he’s saying, sort of a stand-by mode.

The last question for this panel made him wake up again though.

He didn’t even needed to think about it, it was already in his head as soon as the words left the fan’s lips.

_What’s or where is home for you?_

“It’s wherever I am as long as my wife is there too. That’s an easy one.”, David said with a smile. “And what’s your answer, Matt?”, he asked now with a smirk, already guessing the answer he will probably not give despite its truthiness.

“It’s Al- “, he stopped himself for a second. How could he be so stupid and say her name?

"Okay let me try again. It’s all a bit weird, that’s what I wanted to say. I live in my flat in London but also in my flat for shooting my new show and I also feel at home with some people, no matter the location. So yeah, I don’t really know. Still figuring that out.”, he said with a shrug.

Oh, how he’s lying. He already knew the answer, of course he does. And from the glance and smirk from David, his friend does too.

Alex felt like home, she made him feel happy like a child on Christmas. She was home to him.

Home isn’t a place but a person and how was he supposed to be happy somewhere where she wasn’t with him? 

* * *

He managed to find a quiet place which wasn’t easy so he hoped wouldn't be found so easily. He kept his phone with him, in case he had the stupid idea to call Alex. He plugged his headphones into his ears and listened to his new favourite song. It made him feel as relaxed as someone as him could be, an overworked actor, who was deeply in love with his former co-star.

Suddenly his music stopped. He was only a hour away and he was done with panels for today so why do they call him?

He was already feeling rather annoyed by the time he looked on his phone.

But to his surprise it wasn’t the convention manager or David or Karen.

It was Alex.

His hands shook as he struggled to press the ‘answer’ button.

"Hello Sweetie!”

How did this woman managed to kill him with two words only?

All of a sudden, he was feeling very nervous, wondering why she called him.

“Hey Kingston, how are you doing?”

“Everything’s fine, how are you? How’s the convention going?”

Of course, she had to ask just _that._ “It’s awesome to see all the fans and how engaged they are with the show, it’s my favourite part of doing it. It’s nice, it really is.”, leaving an unsaid _but it would be nicer with you here_.

They both knew what he didn't say but mean anyway.

“I’m also asking because I just saw your Q&A Panel, someone sent me a video, and well, it seemed like you were quite occupied with thinking most of the time. Want to tell me about it?”

“It’s nothing, really. I don’t want to waste your time with it. I feel so bad for not connecting with them more today but I felt like I wasn’t really able to, you know?”

“I do.Some days are just off."

She pauses for a second.

"You are never a waste of time, darling. So, what’s on your mind?”, she replied with that soft tone of hers that he loved so much.

"I can’t, really. It has nothing to do with you, it’s just too soon to discuss it with anyone and far too private to share it. I’m sorry.”

“Everything is okay, Sweetie. You don’t have to tell me but I’m here if you need to talk, always.”

This was the moment, the realization he needed.

He always knew but now, now Matt realized that there was no way out, not that he wanted one anyway.

Matt was so absolutely, utterly in love with Alex and now every attempt at swallowing these feelings down or trying to hide them seemed stupid.

It was always going to be her and he knew it from the start.

This was the moment he knew he would never fall in love with someone else ever again.

“I have one question though. The last question was rather interesting, don’t you think? And you rephrased your sentence, like you were trying to avoid saying something and settling with something else instead. So, if it’s not too personal, what did you want to say?”

"Alex”, he breathes, his voice so soft like it was only ever supposed for him to speak and her to hear.

“Yes, dear?”

“That’s what I wanted to say but I thought, well, maybe I shouldn’t do this and it was already a bit too late so I just stopped and hoped nobody would notice.”, he rambles without breathing during it.

"Oh honey…”

He felt the moment pass by slowly, oh so slowly, like the moment before you get told bad news.

Matt was overwhelmed by all the emotions and love he felt for her, these stupid things made him say the truth he didn't want to say, the truth he tried to keep so well hidden.

Now it’s over.

Now she is going to tell him that it’s nice to hear that but what does he mean? Or she is going to let him down gently. Or she’s going to turn him down because he is just Matt, clumsy, childish Matt and she doesn’t even want to see anything else in him. Or –

“Please stop jumping to conclusions like I know you’re doing. Let me explain things. Please.”

Alex’s voice sounds anxious now. Gone was the softness, fear took its place instead.

"It’s okay, Alex, it really is. You don’t have to explain anything. Just let me down gently.” He was trying to keep the hurt out of his voice but he failed. So much to being an actor. He tried to make his voice sound more like the one he used for the doctor, a happier one.

He was a goddamn actor, he should be able to control his voice and emotions but it seemed like with Alex he couldn’t. Matt did it while talking to some people before and it always worked but it didn’t with her, never with her.

Of course, it didn’t bloody work with her.

“Just let me say this. I read a poem a few days ago and I couldn’t help but think that the poem was written about me.

This is it:

_Someone asked me_

_to describe home and_

_I almost said your name_

_but I stayed quiet instead_

_people expect you_

_to say a damn place_

_but I felt more home in your arms_

_than I ever did_

_in my own house_

Now I’m finished. You can say whatever you want.”

“Darling, is this your way of confessing your love for me?”

He nodded for a second before remembering that she can’t see that.

“I guess so, yeah. I am terribly afraid of what you’re going to say, to be honest.", he confessed.

When did he get so honest? He wondered why and how he got that way in so short time as soon as these words left his mouth.

"But you don't have to be, honey. Not at all."

"Wait does that mean what I think it does?", he couldn't help but sound hopeful.

After all, hope was all he had left.

"I love you,you idiot."

"You do?"

"Yes I do", she chuckled and the soft tone of her voice is back.

"I just noticed that I don't mind hearing it, Kingston. I love you.", Matt replied smirking.

"I can only say the same thing.", she smiled.

This is something they both thought they would never hear from each other even though this love had been there all along.

"I really hate being apart from you right now. Big mistake.", Matt said and Alex laughed before agreeing.

"I could pick you up from the airport and we could go to my flat.", Alex offers.

"Sounds like a great plan. Until tomorrow. I love you."

"Until tomorrow. I love you", Alex responded.

There was never a time where they hated distance so much as they did now. -- "Hey honey I'm home" he says while smiling the biggest smile she had ever seen.

She is his home and now he was finally at home again.

"And what sort of time do you call this?"

they smile at each other before she finally kisses him and it's even more perfect than he has ever imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day so please leave a comment <3


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